How often we block ourselves

There are several ways I now recognise that I've blocked myself, when I wanted something.

For instance, when I think about money - and as a freelancer - and have to set a price for something I create. I spend copious amount of time agonising over how much to charge. And for many years (and admittedly, sometimes still), I have undercharged. Because I feel so guilty for taking money for something I find enjoyable.

Or when I think about help and support from people I know. I am very VERY independent - and feel the need to keep that autonomy, in a way that's to my own detriment.

Because I - again - spent way more time doing things myself, rather than asking for help from someone who could do it better, quicker and with more joy than me.

Another thing is compliments - which I feel like I can receive now, with gratitude and grace - but I couldn't most of my life. I remember one specific time, where I met a friend, I hadn't seen for a long time, and she gave me a compliment, told me I looked really good. And instantly I needed to deflect and give it back to her, and it didn't feel that genuine at the moment, so it just gave me a bad taste in my mouth, and a bad conscious. Not cool. Something that supposedly was a positive thing, became an awkward moment instead. I actually think that was the moment I decided to learn to take compliments with gratitude, and practice receiving them, because it was so "painful" - I even cringed as I wrote this, because of the memory, and my feelings of shame - but hey - we live and learn, right. :)

5 ways we block ourselves from receiving

I know I'm not alone in this. I've had several conversations with friends and acquaintances about the awkwardness of human interaction. AND about money, rest, happiness, contentment. All the things we all basically desire, right.

Here are some ways we block ourselves, that are so human and subtle, that we don't even realise it.

1. Apologising for taking up space. For existing. Saying sorry for the littlest perceived inconvenience to others. As if it's the worst crime to exist, and be here... (it's not though! ❤️)

2. Downplaying your desires. Not admitting you want things, even though you do. When people ask if you want that coffee, and you think yes, but say no, because it feels like an inconvenience to the host. Or accepting a lower pay, than what you wanted, because...

3. Over-explaining why you deserve something. As if there needs to be a 100 page paper on the reasons as to why you want what you want - and not just because you want it. The feeling that your desires need to be justified, otherwise they're not "allowed".

4. Saying "I'm fine", even though you're not. It makes sense if it's someone you casually meet on the street - but not when it's people who care about you, and are genuinely interested in your well-being. This is one of the easiest ways to deflect care and compassion.

5. Avoiding eye contact when receiving praise. Not taking it in, and integrating the beautiful words and energy that comes from another person.

These are just a few, but the "blocking system" is vast, yet subtle. And it often gives a tiny feeling of disappointment, injustice or shame - which is a way to start noticing it with.

Just noticing is the first step

The awareness that there's something going on in your system is a great way to start the journey toward receiving more. Because when you notice how you're deflecting compliments, undercharging or straight up hiding from receiving - you can train yourself to act differently. Even though it might feel awkward at first, and sometimes as if your stepping over your own comfort zone. But that is very natural.

You can choose the discomfort of not receiving, or te discomfort of stepping outside your comfort zone to start receiving. It'll get better - you're just moving boundaries.

Anyhoo - noticing the way you are in the world, is the first step. And that is quite a big step to begin with - so feel free to spend a week or a month, just observing how you are around people, and your work, and in every situation.

When you notice a pattern - for instance you keep saying "no thank you", when people offer you a tea, coffee, water, snack, whatever - practice saying "yes, please" - and if they ask what you want in it (milk, sugar), say what you want. It'll feel better soon - and you'll start to feel satisfied, because you actually receive what you desire in that moment. And not something you just settle for, due to discomfort.

Or when someone gives you a compliment, and you're used to deflecting - practice saying "thank you" (if you mean it, obviously). And just receive the compliment. Honestly - as someone who loves to give compliments, I LOVE when the compliments are received. It feels like they fall flat to the ground when they're deflected.

When you start changing the way you receive, you'll start to feel more satisfied, and it'll get easier. You'll stop being resentful toward people who seem to be able to receive with ease. And you'll start to feel lighter. But yes, it's a practice.

The way you receive tells about you

If you feel that it feels wrong to nurture that feeling of satisfaction or the feeling of pride or joy that comes from receiving compliments, help or money, might be telling on how you feel about yourself - subconsciously.

We grow up in a world, full of people, and different perspectives on receptivity, abundance and everything, basically, right. And many of us in the northern european sphere, at least, grow up with a sense of reservation. We shouldn't take up too much space, and don't think that we are better than anyone, and just try to fit in (we have this thing called "the law of Jante" - a list of 10 rules to keep us small, and compliant in society, so it sort of functions, that most of us unconsciously adhere to, because it's so ingrained in society).

But it's kind of detrimental to our sense of self, our own worth and generally our mental health.

Because when you grow up, feeling that you're not allowed to take up space or ask for your desires - you get this feeling that your desires are wrong, and that you're not worthy of getting the things you want. Be it compliments, praise, material things or support and help.

And we learn these small ways of blocking them.

So we actually never learn to receive. Which then solidifies the feeling that "it must be because I am not allowed, or not worthy".

But that's just a FEELING. A feeling, determined by other people's opinions and traditions, and their own "shortcomings".

Because you are inherently worthy of everything you desire, and you have the creative power to receive them. Most of the work lies in unlearning all the things, that have taught you otherwise.

The Art of Receiving - an energetic challenge

If you want to try a 5 day challenge, to teach your system and energy to open up to receptivity - join my free Worthy & Rising Community, where you can join the "The Art Of Receiving - challenge 2025".

There are 5 "exercises", that will let you play with your own energy field, and expand your receptivity.

You can also watch and rewatch the workshops that are held each New Moon, inside the community. The last one was about the Art of Receiving" - and the next one will be on Saturday, August 23rd at 11:30 CEST - "The Power of Being Seen".

The community is for you, if you feel like you need a space, where you can explore life, and all the things that you can do to feel even better and better and better.

I personally share my wins, my challenges, my epiphanies, and all things between the heavens and the earth - because it's quite healing, being in a safe space, and sharing your stories.

We also meet almost every week - for a casual reflection session, or chat session, or a meditation morning.

So if you want a safe space to hang, and meet other like minded rebels - come join. :)

👉 Join the Worthy & Rising Community here.

And with that - I wish you the very best of days, and thank you for reading along (or listening, if you listened).

With love and rebellion

🩷 Parnuuna