There are so many ways to be seen.
And let’s be honest - our favourite ways are the ones that feel good and delicious, where the outcome is exactly what we dreamed it would be… right?

But here’s the thing: sometimes being visible - being authentically you - feels messy. Scary. Not fun at all. And I want to acknowledge that in this post.

Because we see so much “perfection” online. The curated feeds, the glowing highlight reels. And we forget that we’re all just human. That yes, of course we want to show our best selves. But sometimes it takes a lot of mess to get there. And sometimes that mess is visible.

I want to share two stories from my own life that taught me this.

The scary work conversation

Years ago, I was freelancing for someone I’d call a “disconnected boss.” I hope they’re doing fine now - truly - but at the time, we were working together, I was struggling.

I dreaded mornings. I woke with stomach aches, the kind that feel like your body is begging you not to go. The stress was so heavy it was physical.

Eventually, I knew I couldn’t keep silent. I needed to set a boundary, or at least tell them how I was feeling. But, my goodness, the day leading up to that conversation… tummy cramps, sweaty palms, brain fog, my whole body buzzing with anxiety.

When I finally forced myself to bring it up, my voice shook. My limbs went weird. Tears welled up, and I had to actually say out loud:“I’m really anxious right now, my body is doing this, but I need to say these things.”

It was awful. My whole system was on fire.

But the magic happened afterwards: I felt freer. The weeks and months after that one difficult moment, I felt prouder, steadier, more rooted in my skin. It was suddenly easier to set boundaries elsewhere. My self-worth notched up.

Because I’d done the thing I absolutely didn’t want to do - but desperately needed.
And I was still standing. I had actually taught myself, that it was possible to set boundaries.

Lesson learned: sometimes the conversation feels horrible while it’s happening… but the afterglow is delicious!

The beginner coach moment

Fast forward to now, building my coaching business.

When you’re starting out, you’re told to show all the shiny things you can do - the good sides, the results, the polished bits. And honestly, I tried. But it just felt… icky. Like wearing someone else’s outfit that doesn’t quite fit.

Then I got some advice from a friend of mine: show up exactly where you are. Not where you wish you were. Not in a fantasy future. But right here. You need to validate your idea. 

So I did something terrifying. I stripped away all the pretence, all the perfection, and I posted online that I needed help. That I wanted to practise discovery calls. That I was offering a super cheap version of my program so I could get experience.

And oh my god, I felt the fear. What if people judged me? What if they thought I was ridiculous for wanting something I didn’t yet have proof of?

But the opposite happened. People actually responded. I learned more about my message, my gifts, my way of holding space. And I realised - oh wow, I am good at this.

That messy, vulnerable middle step, worked better than all my polished pretending.

The shift

So here’s where I am now: visibility, for me, doesn’t need to be polished at all.

I used to post blog posts every single Monday like clockwork. Lately I’ve fallen out of sync (again). Because I’m getting actual clients, and my time is shifting. My rhythm is changing.

And yeah, consistency is supposed to be the holy grail - “be consistent or else.” But in reality, it’s messy. And I keep showing up anyway.

Some days it’s public posts, some days it’s just me scribbling in my journal or sharing in a small circle. What matters is: I keep practising being seen where I actually am. And not some polished version of me.

And that feels so much better than hiding.

The spell

So here’s your permission, love:

• Allow yourself to feel the tremble - and do the thing anyway.

• Allow yourself to cry when you say the hard things (tears are just energy that can’t be contained).

• Allow yourself to press “send” on the message, even with adrenaline coursing.

• Allow yourself to say out loud: “I’m nervous,” while still telling your story.

We are not perfect from the get-go. We’re not supposed to be.

So let yourself be messy.

Integration

Instead of shaming yourself for the mess, honour it. Feel gratitude that you’re doing the hard things. Be proud that you’re showing up.

Visibility is really about letting yourself be here, now, even when you’re still unfolding.

Personally, I love following people who share their messy middle. Because it gives me permission to breathe, too.

And the more you practise being in that messy middle, the easier it gets. Until one day you realise you’re just being you - without even thinking about it.

Invitation

Right now inside the free Worthy & Rising Community we’re diving into The Power of Being Seen. There’s a replay of my latest workshop on the topic, plus a brand new 5 day challenge starting tomorrow (as I am writing this), Tuesday 2nd September - all about feeling safe to be seen and expressing your authentic self.

Come join us here: Worthy & Rising Community

We also have weekly community meetups - you’re welcome to join whichever ones feel good for you.

I would love tp meet you where you are in your journey, and support you in feeling safe being seen. 

Until next time.  <3 Parnuuna